Learning new shtuff

I spend a fair amount of time every day reading on-line. I read things related to my work and things that catch my eye for no particular reason at all. I also read about new digital technology, mostly software, apps,--the kind of things I have always called toys.

I'm finding the technology reading a bit daunting these days. Let me give an example.

An hour or so ago I read that Swype, an application that lets you trace words on a virtual keyboard instead of typing in each letter, was now available for my cell phone. Since trading in my HTC Dream for an HTC Magic (long boring story there, boo hiss), I have had to use a virtual keyboard full time, and my typing on it leaves much to be desired. I watched a video, and it looked useful.

I knew how to do the download and install part, but found I had to watch the video again to get it going. I watched a couple of other videos that demonstrated some of the features. Then I watched them again.

I tried the damn thing, and as I came to realize that I was not immediately good at using it, I started to panic. No, not a full blown "I can't breath, I'm gonna die" kind of panic, but I felt this pressure build up as I didn't quite get it. It was like the thinking part of my brain was getting in the way of the doing part of it.

I was alone. No one was watching me. No one was judging me. Still, I was having some sort of weird performance anxiety--just like I do when I have to record a new voice mail message and I find myself having to do it over a dozen times until the eight words (hello this is noodles, leave me a message) sound good enough. Good enough? Is there an outgoing messages god who judges such things?

What is that about? It's not like there was going to be a test that would decide my future. It's not like a job interview. It was just me, sitting at my desk, holding my phone, and trying a new spin on text input. Finally, I started to breathe again and in doing so, it became the insignificant thing it always was, and I had no problem doing it. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but perfection was no longer necessary.

I'm beginning to understand why there are so many technophobes out there in the world. I am beginning to understand why people seem to get stuck in the past and refuse to even try new things.

I don't like it, but at least for now, I am willing to push past the discomfort. Check back with me next year.